when it comes to music, when i find music i like made by people who live near me, or are my age, i am both elated and jealous. jealous because, why am i not doing that myself? why am i not out in the music world making songs for the world? i've never quite found the right team to work with, was never good at the search. the industry.

for a while it was diiv, and lately it is santigold. i love her combination of synth, dance beats, and sometimes bittersweet melodies. and her fashion sense. there is something ugly about high fashion at times, and it is ugly in an enticing and beautiful way if that makes sense! prints that don't match are suddenly gorgeously refreshing when done right. in one video, santigold wears floral pants with matching floral shoes and a black/white tube top. it somehow works, looks effortless and modern, and awesome.

i am happy just listening to music, walking in the spring air. i could be happier if i was making music or writing with an audience. i could be happier if i didn't have to spend so much time in Outlook, Powerpoint, and managing people and projects that are not contributing to the world nor to my personal development. OK that's not entirely true - my soul is benefiting from my interactions and projects. but it does mostly suck.