it's hard, i actually have to stop myself from writing passive aggressive preaching on facebook. anything i write on there feels so loaded. am i just imagining it? if i comment on a fun time, i am bragging about my social life. if i comment on vegging out, i am hailing the joys of solitude and poo-poohing on folks who party. if i link to a video, i am showing off for knowing this band. if i quote a book, i am trying to look intellectual.

that all sounds very petty and silly.

what are the things i really just wanna say?

this city frustrates me.

i miss drinking coffee.

i have a secret that i can't share yet.

it hurts that people don't even ask me how my show went. 

i wish i cooked more.

i just checked all my old livejournal friends' pages. some i have visited in recent months, some i hadn't viewed in a year or a decade.

i really miss our house back west. i know i suffered a lonely period but i miss how close i was to nature.

i kind of miss running.